up and down

Sixty degrees outside, I’m in trouble already. I raked out front with a rake missing 4 center teeth and a few towards the edge of the rake. It makes for a lot of raking. Since the sidewalk is right at the edge of the road, there is no place to rake to, so each time a car speeds past, it is blown right back. It makes for a lot of raking. After an hour of this I was done. I need a better rake and I need a better time of day to rake so it doesn’t blow all around as I am raking. My laundry is dry, thank you solar dryer, and the rugs are on the rail to dry overnight. I am back in for the day at 5:30. I did just sit for a while, enjoying the light and fresh air, whatever amount that is being a few feet from the street.

I’m happy daylight savings is back, but it just gives more time to the day that I am frustrated for not being able to get more done. I overheat easily in 60 degrees so you can imagine how I am at 85-95 degrees. Not much gets done then either. So in spring and fall I am a madwoman outside, giving myself innumerable backaches. I try to quit these days before the back goes out. The reflux gets to me after an hour anyway, so it is almost impossible to get much done these days. Could be worse, but it is hard to always be happy about what I got done. On my way in I muttered to myself that I got more done today than yesterday. I do what I can to stay positive, but it isn’t always easy.

 The beau went to the doctor’s office in Indy today. The news was not what he wanted to hear, either. He has another 6 weeks, the hip bone has not healed, so he can only put a little weight on it. He still needs crutches. That’s a long way from being back at work. We have not had income here since November. Taxes are due next month. There is no disability insurance, nothing else to fall back on. The bills just come in. This is getting old. I can only work about an hour before I am worn out, fighting the vestibular problem is quite wearing. How can I even think of getting a job right now. I couldn’t even volunteer on a regular basis, not knowing when I am up to more than an hour or so. It’s not because I am lazy. It’s because the waves of nausea and brain-eye problem isn’t settled yet.

3-12anagram.jpgSometimes it is hard to believe my life has changed so much in such a short time. It’s no wonder I look forward to the one thing I do well, but other than keeping my mind busy and my spirit up, doing anagrams isn’t exactly exercise, and it accomplishes little in the real world. Heck, hardly anyone even reads this blog, so I have to wonder what I do any of this for too, sometimes. I am obviously fighting the frustration the best I can; who said it would be easy? Up and down today.

The sun has been faithful today, and I did accomplish that which I set out to do for the most part. I suppose that means something. I should not doubt.

“You fill a great need in the community and we appreciate what you do”, I hear on the TV. No, they were not talking about me, yet I know, on some level, someone was talking to me. I know God loves me. He fills the spot that was empty.

Today’s comic text, “It’s amazing how the Legion makes you forget your past [and] Yeah, it makes you forget most everything” anagrams to: “Thought amazes as my faith rose on key to give you proof a legitimate energy knows my true sight.”

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