chirals

Chirals?

 

Yeah, so? An object is considered chiral if it differs from its mirror image and that image cannot be superimposed on the original. A chiral and its mirror image are called enantiomorphs, opposite forms.

Pardon me for a moment, I have something else I need to get off my chest. Ok, I’m off on another tangent. I went outside to sit in the sun, to be in the sun, to get out of the dark depressing house. Looking around the yard is sometimes depressing because there is so much to do and I cannot do it right now. I also went to look in my van, which hasn’t moved since November when the beau broke his hip. The van was a huge mess and still is, which just makes me upset. I can’t lift half the stuff in there and wouldn’t know where to put it anyway if I could move it. Until things are moved, I can’t clean inside of the van.

I spent $27,000 on that van in 1998, which was a lot of money then, and with no money now, it is even more important that the van is a mess I did not create. It was like new until two years ago, it still looked new. Now it looks like crap inside, having been used as a work van for two years because there are flat tires on the work truck. I need to return it to its normal state of cleanliness, as soon as possible. I did a whole personal rant offline in my journal, most of which is not repeatable to the public, but this small excerpt:

“Sitting in the sun you would think would make me feel good, having been cooped up in the house all the time and especially right now with a kidney infection, yes it did feel good for a few moments. I despise that I have had to fight illness so much the past year. The more I am unable to do the more it bothers me that I have so little control over anything in my life. It isn’t so much that I need control it is that I need respect for those things that have always been important to me. If I let any of that go any further then I am no longer myself. I have given up enough of myself as it is.

The book I have, Get Out of That Pit is about the spirit, but more than that, what I read is that God does not want me to live like this anymore. I have done what I came here to do for the most part and it is not up to me to do it all. I now need to concentrate on living better for me, for bettering my life and getting back to the things I miss, this void is too deep to live in, I am vibrant and outgoing and rarely see my kids. I went through a death to live here, and it is time I resurrect, ’cause it ain’t worth living like this anymore. Thanks for the sunshine, Chief. I got the message.

 I did feel sorry for myself for a few minutes, but the infusion given to me by the sun has given me a new determination. It’s funny, sometimes not being in church is more like church than being there. God is always there for me, even when I can’t get to the building. His reality is in me, and He speaks to me when I tell Him I need an answer. So I will start with a list, just like in the old days, and mark things off, one by one.

My horoscope today reads, 

Capricorn: “You are finishing up something important and need to get it out of the way today, if possible. Things are looking good and by tomorrow, you should be ready for something entirely new.”

I may not have felt like things are good around here today, but I am not giving up on tomorrow. I am not exactly like that which I see in the mirror, in this dimension or any other. I’m thinking chirals. Why? Because all things are not exactly as they appear, even though I do my da Vinci thing all the time when I look at nature, comics, words, life, whatever it is…I see more.

 

Finally, back to chirals. I often see chirals in a conscious way. Now you know I’m nuts, right? Fine, call it what you will. Things show up in many forms, and today, chirals are on my mind, in this dimension and the other one where everything is perfect. Yesterday I used an old webpage for a homepage for a phone book, just in case someone was trying to find me. I did just disappear one day. So chirals have been in my head since yesterday, and there since I was only a link of mitochondria as of yet unknown, from millions of years ago. Thanks mom. Where do the chirals take me now?

Oh, I mentioned the monkey house in a post recently, and today, the monkey house was on my mind because of that inference and the one in today’s Momma comic strip. I found a few chirals in the toon but one in the anagram I did from the text in it as well. It all goes together as part of my conversation with the big guy today. If you pay attention you can make the connections after a while, maybe not the same way I do, but they are there.

While sitting outside I was perturbed about the pit I am in, how I seem to be going in circles not getting very far. Well, I am not supposed to be doing it all, which is why I am not able to now. It’s too lopsided, so I need to slow down or stop, because my efforts are not working the same in this dimension. I feel like I am stuck between the glass and the backing. On some level I have wasted a lot of time, yet on another, there is improvement which is visible and worthwhile to some. I know how hard I have worked to make a difference, and I know what I have gotten in return. Some rewards are more visible than others.

Today’s anagrams, a couple of them for now anyway, are from the Momma text, “Wrong, which brings me to the point of all this: that was taken before we even left home.” One was a direct answer to a question I had to ask myself, “Whomever won’t change isn’t worth all the bleeping work, so off that; time’s been a thief!” I’ll say. The other said, “Show whole web better chiral then few taken offense that I’m living amongst the poor.” Yeah, I can feel sorry for myself for living here sometimes. I don’t like being cooped up, not seeing friends or family. But I know that for this moment in time, I am living where God put me. I am to do the work He asked me to do, no matter how it looks to others, no matter how I feel at times. He will show me

 

the serenity prayer 

and gives me the wisdom of chiral

as it is today

on this side of the mirror.

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One Response to chirals

  1. Khaki says:

    Ya do sound a little crazy, but that ain’t always a bad thing 😉 I have a wallhanging that says, “Hope. …. tomorrow waits with joy…” your sunshine soliloquy had the same vibe…

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